What My Parents Taught Me~

 Contradiction:  “Shut your mouth and answer me!”

 Endurance:  “Sit there, until I tell you to move.”

 Contortionism:  “Just look at that hole in the back of your shirt.”

 Exaggeration:  “If I told you once, I  told you eighty thousand times.”

 Reality:  “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

 Animal Husbandry:   “You’re acting like an ass.”

 Sex:  “Lie down with a mangy dog and you’ll get fleas.”

 Psychological Warfare:  “Do not make me pull this car over.”

Suspense:  “Just wait until your father gets home.”

Understanding:  “When you reach my age, you’ll understand.”

Maths:  “I am going to count to three.”

Parallels:  “It’s colder than a ditch-digger’s ass out there.”

Heredity:  “You are just like your father.”

Decorum:  “Shut the door, you weren’t raised in a barn.”